Koala, Bushfire Survivor
// February 11th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized
This is incredibly Australian on about fourteen different levels.
Posts Tagged ‘hilarity’
Barack Obama: He Completes Us
// August 29th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
Jon Stewart’s Daily Show develops its own intro for Obama’s acceptance of the Presidential nomination of the Democratic Party.
See Obama’s acceptance speech here.
Seinfeld: Back to Stand Up
// October 12th, 2007 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
It’s Friday, I’ve got the flue, the company I work for was just bought by The Consortium and our CEO resigned- no energy to blog about strolling the Vatican or Forum Romana. All I can do is chuckle slightly and pray to the patron saint of Kleenex.
The Republican Beast-Elephant is Dead
// November 10th, 2006 // No Comments » // World Issues
“Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government.”
- Lenny Bruce, 1925-1966.
If you find the “prophanity” above offensive I suggest you listen to some of Lenny Bruce’s battles with the oppresive, chauvinist morality of “censorship” in the 50’s before you follow the link below. “Fuck” isn’t an obscenity, Guantanamo is an obscenity.
Join Bill Hicks and I in celebratory communion because “The Republican Beast-Elephant is Dead”! Schadenfreude shared by millions, but expressed as only Bill could- a man before his time indeed. Ladies and Gentlemen, the dark poet himself, Mr Bill Hicks on the defeat of the Republican Party. (1992). (N.B you might need this to listen to the audio file)
Bill Hicks, December 16, 1961 – February 26, 1994.
Jesus visits the U.S. Embassy
// October 31st, 2005 // 2 Comments » // Travel
On Friday night I was standing in a line outside the U.S. embassy surrounded mostly by Americans keen on a Halloween party. In front of me was a guy dressed as Jesus; robes, sandals, beard and a massive wooden cross he had made from pieces of his own bed. There is an incredibly large number of jokes that can be made while waiting in a line with Jesus and I ensured that all of them were made in due course.
The highlight occurred when entering the embassy and venturing through the security and registration area. My notes from the evening, hastily scribbled upon parchment, read-
And Jesus was stopped by a U.S. Marine who looked at the large cross and said unto Jesus, “You know this can be used to hurt people?” Jesus responded, with head downturned in knowing pain, “Only unto Me”.
That, my friends, is a parable for the modern age.
Injustice Morning
// October 18th, 2005 // No Comments » // Travel
Woke up, came online, tore my phone connection out of the wall. Internet cafe down the street is almost slower than the dial up. Still no word from the guys Im waiting to hear from. Outside hot … Im fasting, no water, trying not be grumpy…sentence structure defeated.. Children destroyed by plague, forced to live in belly of large aquatic mammal, picked to be parable for “testing”… Man, who gets picked for testing? Couldn’t I get picked for “rewarding”, or “unjustifiable discovery of playstation three?”. Damn.
Cute Party Time in Japan
// October 11th, 2005 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized
Recently, I was looking for traineeship opportunities through AIESEC’s Work Abroad Program. Apart from some excellent professional positions that I’m considering I was forwarded this interesting opportunity.
"I' m interested in you!Our position is in kind of cute cafe, but teaching English to their customers.Customers enjoy speaking with taking some sips with tea or sweets!Sometimes they have cute party.We needs Native Speakersteaching English, with serving some foods for their customers.Ms. Yamamoto,the owner of this Cafe is great people, and enthusiastic for English education.You can learn a lot from her."
Now, as you well know I’m not one to turn down cute party, especially one that involves the sipping of tea or sweets at cute cafe. However, there is a more profitable business chatting to customers in Japan- and their cute party involves whiskey and many, many thousands of Yen.
And in these modern times of change, can’t we all learn a lot from
Ms. Yamamoto?
The Anti-Arthur
// June 15th, 2005 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized
I have found the Anti-Arthur. There is a Japanese anime somewhere in which my blog “Codex Reprio” does battle with his blog “Swiss Skies” upon the tallest tower of NeoTokyo 3. If they hadn’t inserted that small amount of methanol into my test tube, it could of been me.
Sith Faced
// June 15th, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
A while back Tom wrote “Ugh. That is seriously painful. George Lucas should be shot, damn him. I’ll still be throwing a crisp 10 euro note into his vast swimming pool of money, however, when I sit down for the final Star Wars installment in Rotterdam. He only hurts me because he loves me, I swear.”
But we went to the cinema. Tom warned me it would hurt, but I didn’t believe him. This would be it, this would be the film, the one were Lucas rejects his greedy kiddy pandering way and unleashes the definitive Jedi film; a psychological journey through the awakening and corruption of Anakin. And of course Yoda skooling, sabre fighting and the “Passions” style demise of JarJar Binks that would resolve so much that has burdened every mid 20’s male since the release of the new Star Wars episodes.
I know I should have learned. The defeat and injustice heaped upon us in Episodes 1 and 2 should have been warning enough. But no… Of course it connected the necessary dots and didn’t have us rioting in the streets demanding Georges head or anything but it was pretty close. His choice to replace writers with lower order primates fed only sedatives seems to have left us with pretty one dimensional dialogue. My own immediate five word review “Ending the Saga of Injustice” summates the emptiness felt.
After the film I walked away unsure about why I feeling worse than I did after the two previous, and far more painfully defeating, episodes. I think it is because this was the last chance, this was the final salute to Star Wars and George had has sick way with us all. The disgust and frustration haunted me for a few hours until I made a critical realisation.
In twenty years I will wake on the scheduled day, press the small red button on my Virtual Reality device and be transformed into the ultimate first person Star Wars game. In this game I will not only journey upon a customised Jedi adventure thing but the experience will culminate in a showdown between me and George. In virtual reality I will be able to strike down George Lucas- perhaps mentioning that “Now I am the Master” if I feel in such a mood. I think I will even be able to throw him Darth style into one of those sandmonster things that will then digest his virtual body over several years.
Coming to this realisation put me at a great deal of peace. No matter how bad the new Star Wars were, no matter how adapted it was for merchandising, no matter how much money was saved through the replacement of scriptwriters with semiconscious primates- if we still care in twenty years we will have the choice whether to bow to the darkside and get sweet, sweet revenge.
