// May 25th, 2005 // 8 Comments » // My Personal Journey
Since the international elections in IPM Romania 2005, my search for a path forward after AIESEC has become a practical necessity as the end date to my @ life was stamped JULY 31st 2005. I have had long term plans for the last six years of my life; since an intense period of changing environments, experiences and reflection resulted in my first major discovery moments and the beginning of this path. My plans mapped out the journey I wanted to walk in a number of dimensions, as an attempt at a holistic vision for my life, and ranged from my AIESEC time well into the future. They changed as I learnt more about my individuality and further constructed my worldview. However, the AIESEC period has remained more or less constant as I have walked it- and by chance mentions being “Director on AI in 04-05”. The plans after @ were more dynamic as my long-term career ambition evolved from working in Epidemic Disease in the WHO, to NGO- consulting, to founding a new type of University.
The search for those fabled cross-roads, where Aristotle’s says your passions and the needs of your world meet to mark your vocation, has been a vital part of my journey. This journey has, by more than chance alone, ranged across 36 countries and covered equal expanses of doubt and discovery within myself. For a long while I rested my ambition on the expectations of others- and found happy compromises that seemed to satisfy me, those around me, and the “practical reality” in which we live; economically and socially. However, in the last few months my deeper self has been growing louder in discontent. The whisper of “maybe” in a greater potential raged with equally growing waves of doubt until I have been little room for individual thought, reflection and creation. I wondered if it was the Icarus in me- or whether I was merely sharing the essence of every dreamer; those burning embers of hope which give life meaning and energy and cannot be divorced from the soul without extinguishing it completely. After much aversion I began to realize that the choice has already been made in me, and this was clarified through another reworking of my vision and plans. And thus I decided finally that I would head to Cairo on September 1st 2005 for a period of 4-6 months self-directed learning. In these months I do not plan to enroll in university nor employment, rather I will pursue independent creation, study and reflection. I shall commit most of my time to reading and writing philosophy- in an attempt to express the underlying philosophy and ideological framework that forms my understanding of humanity, consciousness and human development. I hope it will also be a remarkably reflective period of my life as it concludes a large chapter of my story and will involve planting the experiences and relationships that have marked its pages to ensure they survive well into the future.
Cairo is the perfect location for two essential and four additional but wonderfully beneficial reasons. The essential factors is that it is pretty much the only place I can afford to rent an apartment with a decent internet connection yet can still travel back to Europe cheaply. The wonderfully beneficial reasons are 1- Egypt is a country with a wealth of incredible experiences to be had, 2- gaining insights into the Islamic and Arab worlds, as well as a specific induction into a very different cultural space, 3- it will be Ramadan and a great opportunity for a physical and mental fast, 4- I have just had two incredible weeks there and there seems to be really cool people in Cairo and a electric environment. So, a few more months here, followed by a month in Hungary and Romania having victory travels with some AI mates and I will be riding a one-way ticket to Cairo.
And then? I believe the next step for me will be in applying a subset of this broader philosophy into a “practical” field. At the moment this looks like it could be in graduate study writing on learning environments and human development, or working in corporate leadership development; both as stepping stones to positions where curricula and learning spaces can be created- and perhaps even founding university in the long-term. The important conclusion for me is the realization that whatever form I find to express in my career I would essentially be a philosopher. I draw this distinction as I hold paramount the conscious and endless search for deeper understanding, to shape my life around this understanding and to communicate whatever learnings I gain in whichever way can prove more beneficial for my community. At worst after the six months of purely choice based life then this broader philosophical enquiry returns to a lifelong hobby. At best it will grow into a means where I can integrate my life more fully and study, write and speak on the field of my passion, as a student, teacher, writer and lecturer. A choice which doesn’t find an easy fit in my generation and culture; where philosophy is so academic and spirituality is so institutionalized.
I feel a calling in the world I see around me; in the wasteful divisions between our common community, in the lack of long term perspective for our common environment, and in the lack of a meaningful path for individual and collective development. I believe answers lie in renewed philosophies and that in the search for such a solution I can find the greatest contribution and the greatest fulfillment. Thus I seek this understanding with my full commitment even if it only finds benefit for me although my hope is, and shall always be, many times greater. For those seeking to share this path of discovery I hope you will join me in dialogue for at least my Egypt days where learning is paramount and all perspectives welcome.
Peace
Arthur
“I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep, and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life, and not, when I have come to die, discover that I had not lived.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Another couple battle across the square and look into the chamber below. “It’s beautiful” says the American woman. I don’t know if she doesn’t get it or even if it could be beautiful. I feel revulsion. I want to get away and think about how it could happen- how a civilisation can destroy its essential treasure, its value, it’s offering to the future. I want to think about why this touches me more than murder.
